That I might fill your absence

  That I might fill your absence, outline 
  your body within the omission
  
  That the space is blank, open, 
  or is your blankness, openness—
  
  You’ve receded in the chronological distance 
  
  It’s characteristic of me to go back
  
  I was influenced by you, your enunciation 
  shaped my voice, there was gravity
  
  I feel your body influence, 
          as it was wrapped stimulated
          around mine, pushing me in a sway
  
          I see this memory dimming, I see 
          its trajectory, omega point
  
  I am looking for you 
          beneath the surface of this poem
  
  I want you to emerge 
          from the smoke, the hallway,
          the snow, the black and white,
          the cheering crowd, the silent 
          grassland, the dining room