In Zuckmayer’s The Captain of Köpenick an ex-general, now Kommandant of a Prussian prison, has a company of toothless old lags riding brooms up a ramp to re-enact a famous cavalry charge: ‘Ah, my brave lads!’ drools the ancient general, ‘What a fine body of men!’ In a Brendan Behan play, a stage direction: a nun in full habit shuffles on to the scene and in one swift movement, removes the habit to reveal a man in a shabby suit who informs the audience: ‘I’m a secret policeman and I don’t care who knows it!’ From Joe Orton: a young expectant mother without benefit of wedlock, is counselled by a woman Social Worker of sinister gentility and born-again smugness: ‘Now don’t get me wrong. There is no more beautiful sight than two young married people making love’. From Howard Barker, a scene set in the vault of the newly established Bank of England: a dissipated Charles II, a louche mistress, a wide-boy cockney courtier and the sudden irruption of a furious Yorkshire merchant: ‘Piece of paper be buggered! I want to see my money, I want to touch it!’ Howard Barker again. A conference in the Kremlin: Churchill, Stalin, a nervous foul-mouthed interpreter and a bewildered Scottish comedian. (Stalin has been misinformed that Churchill loves Scottish comedians.) ‘I can’t fucking translate that! This bastard will kill us all!’ An Oz sample? Not easy. Dead-pan lines. Have to be there. From Williamson: the middle-aged son tells his father that he has just left his wife for his mistress. That night, the old dad catches him in flagrante on the sofa with yet another woman, half his age. The patriarch shakes his head: ‘Just not good enough, son’.