Ice breaker

  The year I coloured my hair 
  pink, pierced my nose and got a tattoo 
  I achieved my second ever 
  new year’s resolution—to sleep 
  with a different man every 
  week and forever after 
  ignore his calls. 
  
  Despite never being fast 
  enough to make the Olympics 
  or State championships 
  I once beat an Australian Olympic 
  swimmer in a fifty metre race. 
  
  When I left my infant son 
  and his father 
  I planned to stay away 
  forever 
  start a new life in a new place 
  with a new name 
  but instead returned 
  in less than one week. 
  
  One of these things is not true.